The Power of Words
Today we are exploring the power of the language we use. Language as a form of communication is something unique to us as humans and creates an unbelievable platform for understanding and cooperation. Verbal communication is an incredible medium for understanding and connection between us, and it possesses a tremendous amount of power that we can harness in the interest of improving and changing our lives for the better.
A common theme in my conversations with clients, friends, and family lately has been the power of our words. I have been exploring and learning for quite a long time that the ways in which I speak about myself, to myself, about others, and to others has a tremendously powerful impact on every aspect of my life. A client of mine put it perfectly in saying, “I’ve learned that what we speak into the world shapes and becomes our reality.”
The Christian Bible says in John 1, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” I think this is an enormously powerful statement worth exploring, regardless of your religious affiliation. Think about it for a moment: the Word was God. In the Christian belief system, God is the creator of everything. In essence, they are saying that the creator of everything is Word. As humans, we are a species unique in our formation of words as communication, and it allows us to speak an entirely abstracted language in comparison to other species on the planet. There’s another sentiment within this, though: Word has the power to create. Word IS creation. To speak it is to create it.
This begs a few questions: What are you creating with your words? How are you choosing to mold and shape the reality that manifests around you? As with many practices, we will begin with an examination of how this pertains to us individually, specifically how we use this practice with ourselves, as the way we practice with ourselves is often a strong indicator of how we will approach the world and those around us.
How do you speak to yourself? What words, phrases, or narratives are you speaking inside of your head? How do these thoughts and beliefs impact and shape your reality? Think about some of the following statements and if any of them pertain to you:
“I never…”
“I always…”
“I’m not good enough for…”
“I can’t…”
“I don’t deserve…”
“I’m not worthy of…”
While these may not exactly reflect the words you use, it’s the sentiment of these statements that is important. Narratives are pervasive, and these often run through our heads unconsciously and unchecked. Notice how all of these statements imply a few different themes. For one, they are restrictive and finite. They come from a viewpoint that sees us as inadequate, disempowered, and lacking something we cannot attain. Also, they imply that we are incapable of change and must helplessly accept the fates that we have been given. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Imagine how these statements have the power to create and shape (or cloud) your lens and perspective as you move through the world. If you truly believe you aren’t worthy of love, would you have the confidence or take the chance to ask the apple of your eye out for a date? If you believe you are worthless and have no value, what are the chances you will take a risk in applying for a promotion or a job that is more aligned with your values and desires? If you have concluded that you always shut people out before they get too close and it would be painful if they left, what are the odds you actually decide to let someone in and get close?
Something worth noting is that all of these internal narratives have very real external consequences. Every internal narrative presents itself externally somewhere in our lives, usually in relationship to others. This is only one portion of the power these words have. The other portion of this power comes in our externally spoken and lived narratives.
External representations of our internal narratives are almost infinitely complex, as they are filtered from our subconscious mind, into the conscious mind, and through all of the defense mechanisms we have in our conscious mind. That being said, it can be a very powerful practice to examine the ways in which we speak to and about others as a reflection of the way we feel about ourselves. For example, if you see somebody that possesses something you don’t and your immediate response is to tear them down and degrade them for it, isn’t that a reflection of your own insecurity about not having what they do? If we are kind and nice when someone is in the room but are quick to speak rudely and disparagingly of them as soon as they leave, does it not imply we are dishonest and unhappy with ourselves and our own character? If someone comes to us in need of kindness, compassion, and support and instead we give them beratement, withdraw our love, and shame them, what does that say about the ways we treat ourselves?
The power in owning, taking responsibility, and recognizing the autonomy we have with the words we speak, both internally and externally, is the power to change both yourself and the world around you. Remember: to speak it is to create it. What do you want to create within yourself and the world around you? If your internal narratives are disparaging and disempowering, do not be surprised to find parts of your life that are exactly that. The opposite side of this, however, is that if you begin to use these narratives as a force for positivity and change, exactly that will begin to make its way into your life.
Here are my tips for harnessing the Power of Words:
Examine your internal narratives. A helpful exercise is to write down things you often say to yourself and then ask yourself if you would say them to someone you love. How is it that you can be the exception of somebody you treat with love?
With our loved ones in mind, examine the way you speak to and about your loved ones. Is this a way you would desire to be treated in love? How do the ways you speak to your loved ones reflect your internal narratives of love for yourself?
Examine the ways you speak to and about others. How does this reflect your internal narratives? What narratives about yourself manifest as poor treatment of others? Would you desire yourself spoken to in these ways?
Become familiar with your intentions and meaning in your words before you say them. Say what you mean, and align what you are saying with the world you intend to create.
Today, it is my pleasure to leave you with the words (pun intended) of Kabbalistic teacher Yehuda Berg:
"Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble."
With all my heart and precious time,
Noah
